Just For Share - Nothing at all..

Today, I tried to do something I wasn’t able to do for a long time….write. It seems that my being lost for awhile disabled my heart and my hands as well, from doing the things I love. I tried several times but I never got it in me to come up with a composition that at least would make sense. Until last two night when I feel loss and has gave me a reasons to wake up today and share to those people around me the music my heart is playing nowadays...

Waiting comes from a promise. A promise that someone will be back or someone will change for the better in reciprocal, the other party needs to wait for things to happen, or for that someone to come back into his/her life. Waiting can mean FOREVER but it could also mean just for NOW.

"Some people don't have anyone waiting for them." .. Sound so pathetic  eh..

Mama used to tell me, do not ever harbor regrets, if you do, that is a sure sign that you are getting old. Today, as I take time off from the diaries am writing, I think…mmmmh, is this about regret or a guideline to those who still have a chance to avoid what happened to me? Then, frens please tell me..

Hurmmm...

Doesn't life amaze you at times..? There are times when you have to write and sharere it with your frens.. Love...yes..It's all about love..The love which meant everything to me vanished all of sudden. The love which was mine and I never knew …that it never belonged to me…. Pathetic hohh.. :'(

 

I don't know what my future holds for me, if there is a divine intervention. Will there come a day where someone is able to spark the fire in my heart again?
Maybe the future of me is mystery and the past of me is foolish .... and treated this whole thing as a memory to remember, not escaping from it, trying to erase it from my mind..

Today i have become strong. i don't cry as usual but the old memories very often hit on the shores of my mind.. Phobia and traumatic ..but until when??? Those question keep knocking my little brain..

Talking about my dream men..I assume that most of a very good mens out there is not available... Has been book by someone @ wat so ever... huh.. How I wish...
But who knows, maybe my prince charming would also turn up unexpectedly one of the days(much to how I hated to admit, but admist the dead garden in my heart, there's still this yearning which I hoped it would be fulfilled to bring warmth and bloomed my heart with flowers), a person who loves me and I love without having regrets....

I'm waiting for this beautiful surprise.... :)

With love,

lily