YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME BUT THEN YOU LEFT!!!!!!!!!

You told me you loved me but then you left!!
I am trying not to cry but cry is all I have done… You said you would never break my heart but its so shattered, i will never find all the pieces!!! You left me in the cold shadowed with grief!!!
You left me with the pain of a million cuts….. I have cried so much my tears have made a pool full, The bed we once slept in is now cold and empty!!!! My eyes are so full of grief i cant stand to look at myself in the mirror I will always love you maybe thats why i cant get over you, I feel like i dont have a heart anymore YOU took it!!! But the real truth is I MISS YOU I miss your smell your voice your soft caring touch that used to make me feel safe, BUT I was Tired!!!!! tired of the lies you told me, tired of your broken promises, The pain is so great I wonder will i ever get the image of you walking out the door out of my head? Which is why i say this in mourning for you YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME BUT THEN YOU LEFT!!!!!!!!! 

Twisted mockery of a relationship

  • This twisted mockery of a relationship, when in fact it is only addictive to the senses. His words are cunning and always make sense, in the moment. If I could remove myself from the situation I would see the lies perfectly, the exact point in time when the truth was twisted into the sickness of deceit. But we are all to caught up in the moment to realize this, to where it feels the world stops in order to listen to you, waiting to see the outcome. He puts me down to stand on my back and lifts himself up. My own face constantly covered in dirt, never given an opportunity to wash it. If only I could find the strength to lift him off me and say that I’ve had enough, but my own weakness prevents this uprising. We are all forever stuck under the thumb of someone, so why try to fight the inevitable? Simple at least I can say that I tried, and for me that is enough, for now. So I’ll hide my tears, I wouldn’t want him to see them.

It's time to go....

Can't stop thinking and its keep hurting my soul..The intention to leaving Kuching land soon have killed every possible moment without nostalgia in my heart. I'm ready to go home. Kuching Land is a beautiful place to live but its really just time to go home...

And actually I AM planning to going home. Seeking for new job, new life and living with peaceful moment is my goals.. Finally, the time has come and will b leave at anytime! I've been living so soul-less ever since I've started planning for the trip. Working, studying, and stressing myself all for the sake of leaving without responsibilities left behind.

Regardless, my soul has been eating shawerma long before I will be. Has been walking the alleys, living the night life, meeting crazy frens, having fun and hang out around Kuching land, been embracing loved ones... been torturing my mind restless... in somehow, a good way. I'm just ecstatic! All the memories was created at this town..Here in Kuching land also.....My soul has dying and gone.. :'(


Shall i just run away?? Left everything behind with no turning back?? Whooooaa... Lily....u're strong enough.. :)

Images floating before my eyes, as I try to fall asleep, I'm constantly still in Kuching land... sigh. I can't wait to run into the arms of my mummy and cry to the incantational call for prayer whenever my soul is not in calmer. And I really need HIS guiding to protect my self wherever i am at every moment i breath..I can't wait to be at Bintulu Land. I cant wait to see my family and friends. I truly missed them. Looking forward to the endless, sleepless nights full of conversations and laughs. I can't wait to feel safe as I walk the streets at night. I can't wait to feel home!

So, the countdown begins and....
Bintulu Land, here I come :)
You told me you loved me but then you left!!
I am trying not to cry but cry is all I have done… You said you would never break my heart but its so shattered, i will never find all the pieces!!! You left me in the cold shadowed with grief!!!
You left me with the pain of a million cuts….. I have cried so much my tears have made a pool full, The bed we once slept in is now cold and empty!!!! My eyes are so full of grief i cant stand to look at myself in the mirror I will always love you maybe thats why i cant get over you, I feel like i dont have a heart anymore YOU took it!!! But the real truth is I MISS YOU I miss your smell your voice your soft caring touch that used to make me feel safe, BUT I was Tired!!!!! tired of the lies you told me, tired of your broken promises, The pain is so great I wonder will i ever get the image of you walking out the door out of my head? Which is why i say this in mourning for you YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME BUT THEN YOU LEFT!!!!!!!!! 
  • This twisted mockery of a relationship, when in fact it is only addictive to the senses. His words are cunning and always make sense, in the moment. If I could remove myself from the situation I would see the lies perfectly, the exact point in time when the truth was twisted into the sickness of deceit. But we are all to caught up in the moment to realize this, to where it feels the world stops in order to listen to you, waiting to see the outcome. He puts me down to stand on my back and lifts himself up. My own face constantly covered in dirt, never given an opportunity to wash it. If only I could find the strength to lift him off me and say that I’ve had enough, but my own weakness prevents this uprising. We are all forever stuck under the thumb of someone, so why try to fight the inevitable? Simple at least I can say that I tried, and for me that is enough, for now. So I’ll hide my tears, I wouldn’t want him to see them.
Can't stop thinking and its keep hurting my soul..The intention to leaving Kuching land soon have killed every possible moment without nostalgia in my heart. I'm ready to go home. Kuching Land is a beautiful place to live but its really just time to go home...

And actually I AM planning to going home. Seeking for new job, new life and living with peaceful moment is my goals.. Finally, the time has come and will b leave at anytime! I've been living so soul-less ever since I've started planning for the trip. Working, studying, and stressing myself all for the sake of leaving without responsibilities left behind.

Regardless, my soul has been eating shawerma long before I will be. Has been walking the alleys, living the night life, meeting crazy frens, having fun and hang out around Kuching land, been embracing loved ones... been torturing my mind restless... in somehow, a good way. I'm just ecstatic! All the memories was created at this town..Here in Kuching land also.....My soul has dying and gone.. :'(


Shall i just run away?? Left everything behind with no turning back?? Whooooaa... Lily....u're strong enough.. :)

Images floating before my eyes, as I try to fall asleep, I'm constantly still in Kuching land... sigh. I can't wait to run into the arms of my mummy and cry to the incantational call for prayer whenever my soul is not in calmer. And I really need HIS guiding to protect my self wherever i am at every moment i breath..I can't wait to be at Bintulu Land. I cant wait to see my family and friends. I truly missed them. Looking forward to the endless, sleepless nights full of conversations and laughs. I can't wait to feel safe as I walk the streets at night. I can't wait to feel home!

So, the countdown begins and....
Bintulu Land, here I come :)